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How should parents behave at the dentist’s office?

About the emotions

It is normal that when you bring your child to the dentist, you worry about how everything will go. And if the child is in pain, then you are the one suffering as well. Perhaps you feel guilty, and you want to quickly change the situation, alleviate the child’s suffering.

In case you are familiar such emotions, then listen to our advice:

• It is wrong to exaggerate the seriousness of the problem and to aggravate the situation. That way you can scare the child in advance, and he or she will experience anxiety even before the visit.
• But to underestimate the seriousness of the situation is just as wrong, otherwise the child does not realize the importance and the necessity of treatment.
• Do everything possible so that your anxiety is not passed on to the child, behave naturally and keep calm. This will allow the child to be calm and free of stress as well.

The healthcare expert will be able to reach to the child quicker if he or she will remain calm.

And if the child is free of stress, he or she will talk about his fears or other experiences. These experiences can hinder treatment. And then the doctor, with the knowledge about this, will choose the appropriate work tactics.

Allying with the doctor

The problem with the child's teeth is a common problem for the parents, the child and the doctor. Each of the participants of the process has his own tasks. But the treatment will be carried out and will pass normally only if the efforts are combined, therefore:

• Try to provide the doctor with all the necessary information. Not only about health, but also about the nature of the child: what he likes, what he does, what he dreams about, how you usually negotiate with him.
• Often when a child resists treatment, parents really want to help the doctor, but if you see that your actions do not help, then let the doctor reach out to the child on his own. Take on the role of an observer.
• Be prepared for the doctor to discuss with you the plan and cost of treatment, and ask you to leave him alone with the child. Treat this with understanding. Moreover, according to our research, this is a rather effective way of overcoming problems in children behavior.

Education during treatment

Numerous parents want their child to make an exceptionally favorable impression on others. And therefore, if a child, in their opinion, does something wrong, they immediately begin to educate him.

According to doctors, this attitude towards the child in the office can adversely affect his behavior during treatment.

• It is not necessary to educate the child during treatment without the obvious need for it. All the same, he is so stressed out that he will hardly pay any attention to you. Before educating the child in the office, ask the doctor if your child is doing something unacceptable. Maybe this is allowed.
• Comparing a child with other children also usually does not bring desirable results. If you compare a child with someone else, he feels that he is not loved the way he really is. Comparisons are only possible when it concerns the child himself. For instance: "When you were younger, you really liked to come here."

An individual approach is important here

In case that your child is timid, quiet and obedient, especially with strangers. Give him full freedom in the office. Do not educate him: "Go there; say thank you; dry your nose ", etc. With such character traits, he is unlikely to do something unacceptable. If the child does something wrong, the doctor or the assistant will tell him about it. By restricting the freedom of a shy child, it will be very difficult for you to form a trusting relationship with him. And trust is the key to successful treatment.

If your child is mobile, active, in any unfamiliar room feels as though he is at home, does not distinguish other people's things from his, then such a child should be limited in the office. When you enter, explain the rules of behavior to him. Along with what is now allowed, it is necessary to say what is allowed, so that the child’s great interest and the need to move have been fulfilled completely.

Fight for health

The child cries, does not want to sit in a chair, refuses to fulfill the requests of adults, is restless, bites or just keeps silent and does not talk to anyone. All this prevents the doctor from fully implementing the treatment.

What should the parent do?

It is clear that you really want the treatment to be carried out effectively. And you are trying hard to help the doctor persuade the child to open his mouth. But this strong personal involvement may create problems. Therefore, first, allow the doctor as a more independent person to agree with the child himself. At the same time:

• Do not try to control the child in this situation;
• Do not indulge your child, do not beg him, do not beg on your knees. Such behavior makes the child uncontrollable;
• Do not bully the child or threaten him to stop resisting the doctor. Even if it has an effect, it is short-lived. The child quickly begins to behave in the same way and continues to be afraid of the doctor.
• Before you do anything, try to understand what the child is thinking and feeling right now. How does this situation look like in his eyes.
• Help the child during the treatment in understanding what he feels; where do the unfamiliar sounds come from; what kind of sensations he may expect.

The main task is for the child to have as many intact teeth as possible and a properly formed bite. And not in that he should momentarily sit down on an armchair and open his mouth. Hence, to begin with, the child's trust should be won as a basis for stable positive interaction.

Let the child get acquainted with the doctor, assistant, cabinet setting. Learn the principle of the various tools. Let him try to manage them.

The most important thing is to preserve positive memories of the doctor and treatment. Even if it was not possible to perform something out of what was planned, the child should leave the doctor in a good mood, and not with a sense of guilt and a feeling that he is bad.

What to do if the treatment was not carried out as planned

Consider the situation when the child has a genuinely negative attitude, and these are the cases when he does not want to go to the office; does not allow the doctor to approach; refuses to sit in a chair, does not open his mouth, does not allow anesthesia, so that parents and the doctor cannot find the opportunity to persuade him to be treated.

Well, you stayed with the doctor for all the reserved time, but you did not do anything. You can talk about the reasons why for a very long time. What will you do now?

Perhaps you are angry at this moment, most likely, upset or blame yourself for what happened. You can be completely frustrated and feel helpless.

In general, you are experiencing a whole range of negative emotions. And this is completely understandable. You had a goal - to treat the child, but suddenly there was an obstacle to its implementation. At first, it seemed that this was some kind of misunderstanding: the child does not understand that the benefit he will receive is many times greater than the unpleasant sensations experienced during the treatment. But then you realized that his resistance could seriously complicate things.

And how does the child feel? What is happening to him at this moment?

Perhaps he is relieved that the danger has passed. Often children feel guilty about what is happening: on the one hand, they want to please their parents, on the other, they are afraid to be treated. In response to the aggression of both parents and doctors, a child may also turn out to be angry.

Any of these options may turn out to be correct and some other one will appear, therefore:

• Encourage the child to tell you about what he feels. So just ask him the following questions: How are you? How do you feel? What happened to you?
• Name the child's feelings and explain to him where they came from. After all, he is ill and he does not know why and when it will end.
• Remind that what the child's experiencing is normal.
• Talk to your child about your feelings and your regret for the pain that has been caused to him (meaning not only physical pain, but also mental pain).
• Be prepared not to talk at all. Maybe it's enough to be with the child.
• Do not ask questions about the details of the treatment. If the child talks about it - listen to it.

After both of you calm down, you need to think everything over and assess the seriousness of the situation by answering the following questions for yourself:

• 1. According to our studies, the child’s negative behavior at the dentist reception is related to his age. How old is the child? Doctors say that if he is under two, negative reactions physiologically conditioned reactions are normal; from 3 to 6 occur quite often; after 7 years the child learns to control his emotions, and if there is a strong negative reaction in the form of crying, motor excitement, screaming, strong emotional connection to others, one must understand its causes. This behavior of the child at the reception should alert the parents.
• 2. How does he treat doctors in general? In case that the child is afraid of all people in medical form, it is likely that dental treatment will also be difficult to implement, just like everything else. If near the doctors of other specializations the child is calm, then the causes of negativity should be sought after in the peculiarities of dental treatment: intimacy; painful sensations; a large number of incomprehensible manipulations, tools, etc.
• 3. How many times did the child refuse treatment? It's one thing when a child visits the dentist for the first time and it results in a negative reaction. And another thing, when on the third, fourth time nothing good comes of it as well. With each new failure to treat the child, the chances of curing him in a voluntary manner are reduced significantly.
• 4. Is the reaction of the child to the treatment that you observed today typical for him or did you first see such a tantrum? If this is a typical reaction, it is likely that this is exactly how the child most often gets what he wants. If you see such a reaction for the first time, it is possible that the child is really very frightened.
• 5. How does the child behave with different doctors? It is possible that a child can be treated a certain doctor, while another one will be unable to approach him. So it's important for him to feel stability, it means relationship is more important than fear.
• 6. How was the child treated before? If earlier he was treated normally, think what has changed today, maybe you came to a new clinic, maybe you were taken by another doctor or assistant, the time is not suitable, or the last time the child was with his father, and today he came without him.
• 7. Is there an urgent need to treat a tooth? If the tooth hurts or the destruction is significant (pulpitis) and the child may get sick at the most inopportune moment, then, of course, you do not have time to wait for the child to get used to the treatment situation and the doctor. But if there is time for adaptation, then you should definitely do your best to use this chance to your advantage.